


Pas de Deux

by realityisoverrated



Series: Infinite Love [75]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Blindfolds, F/M, Polyamory, Polyfidelity, Restraints, Smoaking billionaires, Toliver, flommy, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-07
Updated: 2017-01-07
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:23:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/realityisoverrated/pseuds/realityisoverrated
Summary: With Oliver gone, Felicity and Tommy need to figure out who they are as a couple.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story depicts a polyamorous relationship between one woman and two men. If this is not something you are interested in, please stop and go no further.
> 
> Your response to An Island of His Own Making was overwhelming. Thank you. I appreciate all of you who took the time to send me an anniversary present of your favorite fics in this series. Your selections and your reasons for selecting them were touching. So many of your notes made me cry. Thank you for taking this series and me into your hearts. Big squishy hugs to all of you. xoxo
> 
> This is a monster of an installment. It's nearly 17,000 words. It will come as no surprise to you that when Tommy and Felicity are left alone together three things happen. Talking, sex and talking while having sex.
> 
> I'm not telling this series in chronological order. Some readers have requested that I provide a chronological order for the fics in the series. There is no need to read them in chronological order, but in case you'd like to, the list is below. This installment is 31/75.  
> 1\. Beautiful Stranger (Part 28)  
> 2\. The Hack of the Golden Dragon (Part 36)  
> 3\. Girl Wednesday (Part 41)  
> 4\. This Time Last Year (Part 44)  
> 5\. The First Time (Part 1)  
> 6\. Aloe and Chamomile (Part 40)  
> 7\. The Italian Restaurant (Part 3)  
> 8\. Ground Rules (Part 43)  
> 9\. Do The Hustle (Part 21)  
> 10\. The Secret Ingredient (Part 65)  
> 11\. Wherever You Are, There I Am (Part 8)  
> 12\. Perfect (Part 16)  
> 13\. Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (Part 49)  
> 14\. Practical Jokes and Other Misunderstandings (Part 14)  
> 15\. Cobble Hill (Part 4)  
> 16\. The Sunnybrook (Part 51)  
> 17\. House Warming (Part 15)  
> 18\. 30 (Part 30)  
> 19\. Hong Kong (Part 35)  
> 20\. Twenty Questions Over Brunch (Part 11)  
> 21\. Hildy (Part 5)  
> 22\. Burgers & Lies (Part 9)  
> 23\. You Say You Want A Revolution (Part 22)  
> 24\. Unexpected Gifts (Part 70)  
> 25\. Look Me In The Eye And Make Me Feel The Truth (Part 12)  
> 26\. Fight Night (Part 20)  
> 27\. Fear and Loathing (Part 42)  
> 28\. With The Band (Part 53)  
> 29\. The Scarecrow (Part 59)  
> 30\. An Island Of His Own Making (Part 74)  
> 31\. Pas de Deux (Part 75)  
> 32\. Into Thin Air (Part 17)  
> 33\. Haunted (Part 58)  
> 34\. It’s Just Like Falling (Part 27)  
> 35\. Will You Still Love Me, Tomorrow? (Part 7)  
> 36\. Life With The Arrow (Part 23)  
> 37\. Up All Night (Part 6)  
> 38\. Welcome Home (Part 10)  
> 39\. Deadshot (Part 62)  
> 40\. Better Than Chocolate Chip Banana Pancakes (Part 24)  
> 41\. The Right To Remain Silent (Part 61)  
> 42\. Home Is Where You Are (Part 2)  
> 43\. Somebody Get A Hammer (Part 26)  
> 44\. Tush Push (Part 48)  
> 45\. Elves (Part 68)  
> 46\. Three (Part 13)  
> 47\. Life Lived In The Tabloids (Part 18)  
> 48\. Tokyo Calling (Part 25)  
> 49\. Something Blue (Part 39)  
> 50\. Prudence Chastity (Part 19)  
> 51\. Love Is Worth It In The End (Part 33)  
> 52\. The Mini (Part 38)  
> 53\. The Hall of Fame (Part 46)  
> 54\. A Name By Any Other (Part 47)  
> 55\. The Drop Out (Part 32)  
> 56\. Homework (Part 64)  
> 57\. Count Your Blessings (Part 71)  
> 58\. William (Part 29)  
> 59\. Hold On For One More Day (Part 31)  
> 60\. I Have No Gifts To Bring (Part 72)  
> 61\. Yours, Mine, Ours (Part 37)  
> 62\. Rules Are Made To Be Broken (Part 55)  
> 63\. Hope Is Believing In The Light When All You See Is Darkness (Part 52)  
> 64\. Open Up And Say Ah (Part 60)  
> 65\. Saturdays With The Green Arrow (Part 34)  
> 66\. I Would Not Trade What Might Have Been For What Is (Part 50)  
> 67\. Brothers (Part 45)  
> 68\. Hallelujah (Part 69)  
> 69\. The Green Arrow Did It (Part 73)  
> 70\. Strawberry Milkshake With A Side Of Why (Part 56)  
> 71\. All About The Jeans (Part 54)  
> 72\. A Bunny For Prue (Part 63)  
> 73\. Day 107 (Part 67)  
> 74\. Boys Who Kiss Boys Who Kiss Girls Who Kiss Boys Who Kiss Boys (Part 57)  
> 75\. Tummy Aches and Heart Aches (Part 66)
> 
> Welcome to any new readers who have stumbled into this universe. The more the merrier.
> 
> Arrow and its characters do not belong to me.

>

Artwork by Lademonessa

 

Time had seemed to stop as Felicity lay stunned on their bed. She was facing Oliver’s side and her hand rested on the pillow that still held the indentation of his head. It didn’t seem possible that she’d woken up that morning, in the same bed, feeling hopeful for the first time in a long time. She’d been convinced that with Crane’s death, they would finally get their lives back. Even as she listened to Oliver explain that he was leaving, she hadn’t believed him. The man she believed in, he would never do this. Her Oliver would never knowingly cause her pain. He’d never walk away from the life they’d all worked so hard to build together. His decision to leave was the behavior of the Oliver she first met.

Felicity had stood in their kitchen staring down the hall to the front door waiting for Oliver to return. Tommy had resumed cooking their dinner like nothing had happened. When he’d finished cooking he kissed her cheek and said, “He’s not coming back. At least not tonight. Come eat.”

She’d had no desire to eat and refused to join Tommy. She contemplated tracking Oliver on her app, but decided that she shouldn’t chase after Oliver until she knew what she wanted from him. She’d retreated to their bedroom without a word to Tommy.

As much as she’d tried to prepare herself for this outcome when she’d entered their relationship, it had done nothing to prevent her heart from being torn from her chest when Oliver walked out their front door. She had the sensation that she was falling. Her heart was racing and her stomach was twisted in knots.

“Hey,” Tommy said quietly from the doorway to their bedroom.

“Hey,” she responded without looking at him.

“I put away dinner, but I can get you something if you’re hungry,” he offered.

She shook her head. The last thing she wanted to do was eat. Felicity didn’t think she could possibly keep any food down with the state of her stomach. Her gaze shifted from Oliver’s pillow to Tommy.

 “Can I get you anything?” he looked lost. “Maybe tea.”

She shook her head, “No, thank you.”

He smiled sadly at her and tapped the doorframe, “Okay.”

Felicity sat up when he started to walk away, “Wait. Where are you going?”

He hesitated. “I thought,” his eyes looked away, “you’d like to be alone.”

She’d been wrong. Oliver hadn’t torn out her whole heart when he left. She could feel what was left getting ripped from her as Tommy told her he was going to leave her alone. “Oh, god,” she whispered as she clutched her hands to her chest as she realized she hadn’t just lost Oliver, but Tommy too.

“Felicity,” he said with concern as he stepped into their bedroom, “are you okay?”

She looked up at him and tears spilled from her eyes, “You’re leaving too.”

“No,” he said firmly as he strode across the room. He climbed onto the bed next to her, “No. I’m not leaving.” A look of fear washed across his face, “Unless, you want me to leave.”

Felicity threw her arms around his neck and she climbed into his lap, “I can’t lose you too. I love you.”

His arms banded around her tightly and he buried his nose against the side of her neck, “I love you. I’m not going anywhere. It’s you and me until the wheels come off.”

“What are we going to do?” she asked through her tears. “He’s not thinking clearly. Everything with Crane and the toxin is messing with him.”

Tommy lifted his head and pushed the hair from her eyes, “We’ll give him a few days to clear his head. He’ll be back.”

“You think?” Felicity wanted Tommy’s words to be true.

“I’m an expert on Oliver Jonas Queen,” he winked playfully at her. Tommy slid off the bed and pulled her to her feet. “Put your pajamas on and we’ll watch a movie.”

She grabbed a pair of pajamas from her drawer and then wrapped her arms around Tommy’s waist, “Pick something he’d hate.”

Tommy laughed and kissed the tip of her nose, “Fred and Ginger it is.”

“Swing Time,” she suggested hopefully. She loved their dance on the staircase and Tommy could always be counted on to sing along to _The Way You Look Tonight_.

His face lit up, “Excellent choice.”

 

The sound of the front door opening and closing had Felicity looking up from her tablet and wiping the tears from her eyes. Hildy trotted out of the kitchen to greet the new arrival. A small glimmer of hope flared at the thought that it might be Oliver. It had been a week since he’d left and she’d only communicated with him through email about QC. All Team Arrow communication was going through Dig. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to return to the Foundry. It was too painful to be near Oliver while he was acting like his decision was a noble one.

“Tommy,” she got off her stool, “is something wrong?”

He crossed the kitchen and kissed her chastely. “You said you weren’t working late, so I thought I’d come home and cook dinner for my girl.” He pulled a bottle of red from their wine rack and set about pouring them each a glass.

“What about Verdant?” she watched him warily for a sign of something being wrong. “It’s not like you to miss a busy night.”

He grinned, “Let’s be honest, I’m just window dressing. Thea really runs the club.”

Felicity scoffed as she took a glass from him. Verdant was a success because of Tommy’s incredible work ethic. Thea and Tommy lent an element of celebrity to the club, but Tommy didn’t actually spend much time at the front of the house. He moved in the shadows to make sure everything ran smoothly while Thea ensured everyone had a good time. They were an excellent team. She tapped her glass against his and took a sip, “I’m happy to have you home.”

He grinned, “Liar. I’ve just ruined your dinner plans to eat a pint of mint chip.”

“Don’t judge,” she pouted. He knew her to well. Her plan for the evening did involve a pint of ice cream and possibly a package of red vines for dessert.

“Never,” he opened the fridge, “but I will insist on you eating something with nutritional value before you overdose on sugar.”

“I’m prepared to earn my keep. What would you like me to chop?” she asked as she pulled an apron from a drawer.

Tommy smiled as he stacked ingredients onto the counter, “You don’t need to help. Sit down and drink your wine.”

Felicity twisted her fingers against her stomach. Dinner prep was always Tommy and Oliver’s thing. She would sit on the stool and talk to them as they cooked. It was their ritual. “Oh, okay,” she looked back at her stool.

“Hey,” Tommy took hold of her hands, “I’m just making pasta. No chopping needed. Tomorrow night, I’ll put you to work. Tonight, I want to watch you drink wine and listen to you talk.”

“Tomorrow night?” she asked with alarm. “You’re not going to work tomorrow?”

“Worried that I won’t be able to pay my bills?” he asked jokingly.

“No, of course not,” she said truthfully. Tommy didn’t need to work to pay the bills. Changing his routine, however, did make her worry. As much as she was struggling with the breakup, he was too. Tommy had sought treatment for his depression before Oliver pulled the rug out from under them. He’d only been on his antidepressants for a few weeks and she wasn’t sure if he was actually coping or just pretending to.

He placed a pot of water on the stove, “I thought I’d take some evenings off so I could spend time with you when you get home from work.”

“You’re okay?” she had no desire to react to Tommy’s depression like Oliver, but she definitely worried about him. Of course, Tommy was probably worried about her since she’d quit the team.

“I’m fine,” he smiled, “I promise. My meds are working. I’m seeing my therapist. I’m taking some time off because I want to spend time with you.”

She felt herself relax, “I’d like that.” Spending time with Tommy did make her feel better. It made her feel normal.

“Good.” He pointed to her stool with his knife, “While I put the sauce together, you tell me about your day. How’d the tests go today?”

“Two words,” she sighed, “Curtis Holt.”

“A fire, huh?” he laughed.

Felicity tapped her fists together and then waved her fingers, “Kablooey.”

Two hours later Felicity sat on the sofa with her feet in Tommy’s lap. They’d both changed into their pajamas and were watching a comedy that she was barely paying attention to. Her attention span had dwindled to practically nothing since Oliver left. She found it hard to concentrate on things that weren’t work related and even work had become a struggle. As soon as she allowed her mind to drift, she usually found herself in tears.

Tommy pressed his knuckle into the ball of her foot and she moaned. His hand stilled and he looked at her, “Are you watching this?”

She shook her head and felt herself flush under his gaze.

Tommy turned the television off and then put her legs back on the sofa. He began to crawl up her body. “Is this okay?” he asked with uncertainty.

She opened her legs so they could bracket his hips. Her fingers trailed across his cheeks and he turned his head to kiss her palm. There was a hesitancy in his touch that she hadn’t felt since the early days of their relationship. They hadn’t had sex since Oliver had left. She’d assumed it was because Tommy was holding her in his arms as she cried herself to sleep every night. It was hard to be sexy while ugly crying. She wondered if maybe them not having sex had little to do with her inability to stop crying and more to do with their fears.  Felicity took hold of his chin and turned his face so he was looking at her. She smiled before brushing her lips against his, “I love you.”

His eyes crinkled when he smiled in response, “I love you.”

Felicity lifted her head and kissed him softly. She captured his bottom lip between hers and sucked gently. They kissed slowly and thoughtfully as they watched one another. They’d had sex without Oliver before, but this was different. This was just about them and who they were together when it was just Tommy and Felicity without Oliver.

Their eyes locked and suddenly they were both laughing. Tommy dropped his head to her shoulder as his body shook with laughter. Tears ran down Felicity’s cheeks as she gasped to catch her breath. Tommy lifted onto his elbows and ran his hands over Felicity’s head, “I’m sorry, babe, but that was a little too solemn. We’re not dying.”

She rested her hands on his chest and she smiled, “It was a little too Hallmark movie for me too. I mean, this is you and me. We do sex really well, like, over achieving well.”

“We do,” he agreed.

“We’ve had sex like a thousand times,” Felicity reminded them. Sex with Tommy was effortless. There was no reason to be freaking out, unless Tommy was bored having sex with her a thousand times.

“At least,” he winked at her.

“You’re not bored having sex with me a thousand times, are you?” she only half teased.

He wrinkled his nose like he was deep in thought. Felicity swatted his chest and he rolled them until she was laying on top of him. He wrapped his arms around her back, “How could I ever get bored with anything about you?”

“Our sex life is going to be a lot different for you than it is for me,” she said suddenly serious. “What if I’m not enough?”

“Hey,” Tommy said as he sat up. He rearranged her legs until she was straddling his lap. “You are more than enough.” He took her face between his hands, “Felicity, you are more than enough. Okay?”

She nodded as she fisted her hands in his shirt, “Maybe we can try some things we didn’t try because of Oliver.” Oliver had so many hard limits in their bedroom that Tommy and Felicity had allowed those limits to extend to their own time alone together.

“Like?” he tried to catch her eyes.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged as she tried to think of one of Oliver’s hard limits. She said the first one that popped into her head, “Handcuffs.”

He brushed the hair from her eyes and kissed her softly, “Do you want to try handcuffs?”

“Maybe not handcuffs,” she said with a shy smile. Handcuffs had never really held that much appeal, especially after Lance had brought her in for questioning about her knowledge of the Hood. “There’s a statistically higher chance of me actually ending up in real handcuffs one day, so, I think they’d be less sexy and more of a cautionary tale.”

A laugh rumbled through his chest, “Okay, no cuffs. We could use scarves or one of my ties if you wanted to try restraints.”

“Have you used them?” she asked shyly. After two and a half years, this was a conversation they’d never had before.

“Restraints?” When she nodded, he answered, “I have. Have you?”

She giggled that he thought it was possible that she’d ever used restraints. She’d had two sexual partners before Tommy and Oliver. Dave Blumstein was the boy she lost her virginity to and they had sex one time and she didn’t even have an orgasm. She’d been with Cooper for less than a year and their sex life, while satisfying, hadn’t been nearly as revolutionary as their politics or her style of dress. It was hard to be adventurous in a dorm room when you were always half listening for the return of a roommate. At his confused expression, she replied, “No, I never used restraints before or a blindfold or anything like that.” She sat back on his thighs, “Did you like it?”

“They can be fun. Helps to build anticipation when you can’t see what’s going to happen next. Surrendering control by not being able to move or to touch can also help intensify pleasure. It’s about trust.” He took hold of her hands and held them to his chest, “You know you can ask me for anything?”

She let out a shaky breath, “I do.”

“Would you like to try and see if you like it?” he asked tenderly.

Felicity felt her cheeks flame with embarrassment. She felt slightly ridiculous blushing about light restraints and a blindfold considering she’d shared a bed with two men for the past two and a half years. “Yes,” she confessed as the words rushed out of her, “but not tonight. I mean, I do want to try it, but I wasn’t asking about it for tonight, I just had brought it up because I thought that this is kind of a new beginning for us and it might make sense to reevaluate our situation and figure out if there are things we’d like to do differently now that we are a two instead of part of a three.”

“I think that’s a really good idea,” he smiled. “I think we should figure out what we want this,” he pointed at her and then himself, “to be. I imagine that we’ll need to make some adjustments.”

She rested her forehead against his, “Thank you.”

“And you thought there was a chance I might be bored with you,” Tommy teased. He pulled her closer, “We can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Just say the word.”

Overcome with the desire she had for the man in front of her, she crashed her lips into his and licked greedily into his mouth.

Tommy rose to his feet with Felicity in his arms and carried her up the stairs and to their bedroom. He lowered her to the bed. She clapped her hands and grinned, “Yay, marathon training.”

He laughed and flexed his biceps, “Carrying you to our bed is an incentive to keep training.” He slowly lowered himself on top of her and kissed her lips. “Instead of one thousand and one, what if we call tonight, one?”

She smiled. “I’d like that.”

Tommy shifted until he was laying on his side beside her. He propped himself up on his elbow and ran his fingers through her hair. A smile lit up his face, “Do you know what the first thing I noticed about you was?”

Felicity rolled her eyes, “My ass in a pair of tight black jeans.”

He burst out laughing, “Okay, that is,”

“True,” she prompted.

“Yes, true,” he kissed her nose, “but not what I was going for.”

“Okay, after my ass, what’s the first thing you noticed?”

The smile fell from his lips and his face went soft making him look far younger than his thirty-one years, “You have the kindest eyes. I remember you showed up at my place looking like a drowned rat, uttering the longest string of words I’d ever heard spoken in a single breath, and wanting to help Oliver save QC. Even though you didn’t know me and had recently had a ceiling dropped on your head, you told me that you were sorry about my dad dying because he was my dad. You asked me how I was and,” his eyes welled with tears, “you were the first person to ask me that. You asked me about my mom and my grandparents and my boat and you made me smile in the face of so much loss. It was the first time in a long time that someone had been kind to me just to be kind. You weren’t looking for money or a quick fuck. I remember layng awake in my bed that night thinking how kind your eyes were.” He smiled, “They still are.”

“And you fell in love with me,” she teased, knowing full well that it hadn’t been that quick.

“No, I fell in love with you when I saw your ass in those tight black jeans,” he rolled onto his back and covered his head as she struck him with her pillow.

His laughter was infectious and soon she’d dropped her pillow and was clinging to him. He smoothed her hair from her face as they caught their breath. Felicity ran a finger down his cheek, “Do you know what I noticed right after your devilish good looks?”

“My ability to juggle,” he said seriously.

“No,” she chuckled, “wait, can you juggle?”

He raised his eyebrows, “I’d like to keep some mystery in our relationship.”

“Be serious, I’m trying to be serious,” she gently admonished him.

“I’m sorry. I’ll be completely serious,” he promised.

“When I came to ask you for your help, all I knew was what I heard from Oliver, read in the papers and our very brief conversation over a glass of wine. Your world had literally fallen apart around you. People were saying terrible things about you. Your fortune was being stripped from you. The woman you loved had died. Your best friend had lied to you and hurt you by leaving town.” Felicity took hold of his hand, “I was desperate when I came to see you. I thought the chances that you would help me were low, but I knew Oliver loved you – well, obviously, I didn’t know then that he loved loved you, but he loved you and if he loved you then there had to be a chance. So I showed up with my binders and Chinese food and hope. To my great surprise, Tommy Merlyn, the selfish billionaire playboy, was really a mensch with really cute dimples.”

Tommy smiled softly, “I never could say no to a beautiful woman.”

She shook her head, “Don’t do that. You agreed to help save QC even though you had every right to tell Oliver to fuck off because you wanted to help the employees keep their jobs. You weren’t fighting the seizure of the Merlyn assets because it was the right thing to do for the victims of the quake. You were defending Moira even though people were accusing you of colluding with your father. You were looking after Thea by making her show up at Verdant every day to work even though you didn’t know she was your sister.” Felicity lifted her head from the bed and kissed him, “You are an honorable man, Thomas Edward Merlyn. That’s what I noticed first.”

Tommy’s hand slipped beneath her tank top and rested on her stomach, “Is it okay if this honorable man makes love to you?”

Felicity’s bottom lip was caught between her teeth when she nodded. She sat up and lifted her arms over her head and Tommy removed her shirt. She slipped out of her pajama bottoms as Tommy stripped. She sat on her heels with her hands resting on her knees. Tommy mirrored her position. Felicity reached out and trailed her finger back and forth across the back of his hand, causing him to smile. She wondered how many months of the past two and a half years she’d spent being held by his hands. Every night she fell asleep with their fingers laced together. They held hands when they watched television or a movie. He held her hands when they danced around the kitchen while they waited for dinner to cook. They held hands beneath the table when they dined out in public and behind their backs when they rode alone in elevators. Even before they realized they were in love or shared their first kiss their hands always seemed to find their way together. She turned his hand palm up and began to trace his lines.

“Are you nervous?” he asked.

She looked up, her eyes wide with surprise, “No. Are you?”

He shook his head and smiled, “No.” His free hand reached up and he pressed his index finger against her brow between her eyes, “Your brow is doing that crinkly thing.”

“Oh,” she reached up and touched his finger where it rested against her, “I was just thinking.”

“About?” he dropped his finger from her forehead and tapped her nose before he returned his hand to his knee.

She began to trace his second hand, “I can’t believe that there was a time in my life that I didn’t know what these hands felt like.” Felicity looked up and smiled at him, “Or the feel of your lips or the color of your eyes when you’re laughing. I look back and it doesn’t seem possible that you weren’t always there.” Tommy took hold of her hands and she lowered her eyes, “Silly thoughts.”

He held out his arms and Felicity straddled his lap. He wrapped his arms low around her waist, “I don’t think those are silly thoughts. We were in Cambridge at the same time for two years. Sometimes I wonder if I ever passed you on the street.” Tommy closed his eyes, “Sometimes I picture you sitting at my favorite coffee shop with your jet-black hair with the purple streaks and the nose ring. You’re rolling your eyes as I flirt with the barista as I’m ordering my fussy coffee. You’re working on your laptop and I pretend to be checking the scores while I try to figure out why a twelve year old is wearing black lipstick.”

“I wasn’t twelve,” she rested her forehead against his, “and I didn’t dye my hair black and purple until after you graduated and moved away.”

“I know, I’ve seen the pictures. You might’ve been fifteen but you looked twelve. Especially with your long wavy brown hair and those overalls you wore.”

Felicity groaned, “I knew I’d regret showing you those photos.”

“If I’d met you back then, you would’ve made me think of Thea. I would’ve gone all big brother and glared at all the boys and made sure you were eating things other than coffee and licorice.”

She laughed, “Not unlike what you do now - except the big brother part.”

Tommy rearranged her legs so they were around his waist, “I definitely don’t have big brother thoughts for you.”

“Maybe it’s good that we didn’t meet back then,” she ran her fingers through his hair. “It wasn’t the right time, for either of us.”

He nuzzled her nose, “No, but I like the idea that you and I had series of close encounters in Cambridge but the universe kept stepping in, until one night, years later, on the other side of the country, I was closing out Verdant for what I thought was the last time and you decided you needed a glass of wine and the universe decided, now’s your time.”

Felicity’s hands caressed Tommy’s neck and ran down to his chest, “I like that story. The universe kept us apart until we were ready.” She brushed her lips against his with their eyes locked together. It was a slow gentle kiss broken by occasional smiles and nuzzles. She deepened their kiss and wrapped herself tighter around him. His warm flesh pressed against hers as he looked into her eyes made her heart flutter. “I love you,” she said against his lips.

She could feel his smile against hers as she saw it in the twinkle of his eyes, “I love you.”

His tongue darted against her tongue and she welcomed him inside. His tongue licked against the roof of her mouth, causing her to shiver in the best possible way. Without breaking their kiss, she reached between them and guided his cock to her entrance. She rose slightly off his thighs so she could take him inside and she slowly sank back down. The rocked slowly against one another as they sat on their bed kissing and gazing into one another’s eyes. There was no rush or desperation of frantic touches. Their hands glided over one another with loving and gentle caresses as she slowly rose and fell around him. Eventually, the fire between them began to be stoked higher and higher. Tommy’s hands fell to her hips. He changed her movement from up and down to back and forth and she couldn’t help but smile as her pleasure increased. He always seemed to know exactly what she needed when she needed it, “You’re ridiculously good at this.”

He grinned before he returned to kissing her. He moved a hand to her lower back and used it to guide her movements. His other hand slid between them and he began to roll her clit. He swallowed her moan as she began to chase her orgasm. He was looking in her eyes when her core tightened around him and she broke their kiss, “Tommy.”

“I love you,” he told her and her orgasm spread through her like sinking into a warm bath.

His arms banded around her back and he pulled her down against him as his hips pushed up. She clasped his face between her hands, “I love you.”

“Felicity,” he gasped through a smile.

He laid back slowly, bringing her with him. She was draped across his chest with her knees tucked against his sides. Tommy’s fingers slowly traced her spine. Felicity lifted her head and stretched to kiss him.

“Not bad for a first time,” he said with a pleased grin.

She kissed the center of his chest, “We might need to try again. For science.”

Two hours later, Felicity was still wide awake. Normally, when she had multiple orgasms she could turn off her brain and fall asleep quickly. Despite what she and Tommy had just done, her brain refused to shut off. The empty spot beside her in their bed felt cavernous and she feared they’d never fill it. She feared that Oliver’s loss was like a black hole that would suck all the light from her and Tommy until it tore them apart or crushed them. A nagging thought kept ricocheting through her head. “Tommy?” she whispered so quietly she was sure he couldn’t hear her.

“Yeah, babe?” he asked through a yawn.

“What about anal?” she asked before she lost her nerve.

Tommy tensed behind her. The hand that had been cupping her breast fell to the mattress. “What about it?” he asked hesitantly.

She didn’t turn around to face him. Even in the dark, she couldn’t look at him for this conversation. “I know that Oliver hadn’t been able to and I know it’s not the same – I’m not the same, but if you need that, I’m willing to try.”

He rolled away from her and the light on his nightstand clicked on. He rolled back beside her and pulled on her shoulder, “I need to see you for this conversation.”

Felicity sighed and rolled over but she still couldn’t face him. She stared at his neck.

“Babe,” he tilted her chin up, “please don’t look away.”

“I want you to be happy,” she laced their fingers together. “I want to be what you need.”

“You are what I need,” he kissed their joined hands.

Felicity’s eyes filled with tears. Tommy was bisexual. There were things that she wasn’t going to be able to fulfill for him and she feared that he would eventually need to find those things outside of their relationship. “What if I’m not enough?” F _or you too_ , remained unsaid. Her life had been a series of men she’d never been enough sticking around for. She buried her head against the mattress as she cried.

“Oh, Felicity,” he pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized when her tears finally stopped.

“Don’t be sorry,” he kissed her closed eyes. “You do know that my feelings for Oliver don’t have anything to do with anal sex, right?”

Felicity let out a heavy breath, “I do.”

“Sex with Oliver was about the same thing it is with you, intimacy – wanting to be close,” his finger trailed down the side of her face.

“But you’re attracted to men. I don’t have those bells and whistles.”

“No, you don’t, but I’m also attracted to women – one woman in particular.” Tommy held her hands to his chest and looked into her eyes, “I love you. Making love to you isn’t some consolation prize. You are not my second choice.”

“What happens when you find yourself attracted to another man?”

“I don’t know. What happens when you find yourself attracted to another man?”

“It’s not the same.”

Tommy grinned, “Are we going to have another conversation about penises?”

“I need you to be serious,” Felicity tugged on his chest hair. This wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation, but the first time they had it she was worried about being replaced completely by Oliver. Now she was worried about a faceless stranger.

The smile fell from his face, “Okay. Tell me what you’re worried about.”

“You get something from being in a relationship with a man that you don’t get from being with a woman – me - and I don’t mean a penis – or just a penis. It’s beyond sexual attraction – isn’t it? Oliver gave you something emotionally that I don’t give you – can’t give you.”

Tommy’s eyes narrowed as he thought about what she was saying, “Probably in the same way Oliver gave you things that I don’t.”

Felicity groaned with frustration. She didn’t know how to articulate what she was feeling. “You and Oliver are different. I get – got different things from Oliver than what I get from you, but it is still male energy.”

“And you’re worried that I need male energy to be happy?”

“Yes,” she sighed with relief. He understood what she was thinking.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Felicity rolled away from Tommy, “Forget about it. Turn off the light. Goodnight.”

“No,” Tommy pulled gently against her shoulder until she was on her back. He moved so he was cradled between her legs. “We need to talk about this. Let’s talk about what started this. Do you want to have anal sex?”

 “Do you want me to?” she asked nervously.

He shook his head, “This has to be about what you want. Is this something you’ve thought about?”

“It’s kind of hard not thinking about it being in a relationship with two men who are having sex,” she admitted.

“Thinking about it like – _hey, my boyfriends are having anal and I’m watching_ , or, _hey, my boyfriends are having anal and I wish I was too?_ ”

“When you touch me there, it feels good, but,” she bit her lip trying to think how she wanted to say something without offending him, “I’ve never wanted to have anal sex. I don’t get the appeal – for a woman. I mean, we don’t have prostates, so there isn’t any way for us to get off that way. I mean, most women can’t get off with vaginal sex. It seems like anal with a woman is really a way for a guy to get off without having to think about the woman’s pleasure - like a blow job.” Felicity took a deep breath to give her brain time to catch up with her tongue. She wasn’t sure her last point was the right one, “Not that I don’t like giving you a blow job. I do. I mean, I know a lot of women don’t like it, but it makes me feel sexy and powerful that I can make you feel like that.”

Tommy kissed the tip of her nose and smiled, “I’m glad you like giving me blow jobs, because I really enjoy receiving them – let’s shelve that topic, okay?”

Felicity nodded, “Okay, all good with blow jobs.”

“I have only ever been on the receiving end of anal sex and as you’ve pointed out, my anatomy is different from yours. I can’t tell you if you’ll like it or not. I can tell you that I usually enjoyed it. It can be uncomfortable if it’s rushed or if there’s not enough lube, but on the whole, my experiences have been positive. If it is something you want to experiment with, we can totally do that. We can maybe try more external stimulation or try toys to see if you like it and, if you do, we’ll wait until you’re comfortable with that stuff before trying the main event. But if it is something that doesn’t hold any interest for you, then that is the end of the discussion. I don’t need to have anal sex with you. If we have anal sex, it will be for your pleasure not mine.”

“You and Ollie fought over him not being willing to try anal,” she said wanting to believe him that this wasn’t something he needed.

He sighed and dropped his eyes, “That fight wasn’t about anal sex and you know it.”

“No, maybe not, but it was about him embracing who he is and meeting your emotional needs,” she pushed. “I want our relationship to work. I want to meet your needs.”

He kissed her slowly and then looked down at her with a smile, “You are meeting my needs and I promise, if that ever changes, I will tell you and we will address it. Deal?”

She lifted her head to kiss him, “Okay, deal.”

“But, you have to promise me this goes both ways.” Tommy ran his fingers through her hair, “If I’m ever not meeting your needs, you have to promise to tell me too.”

Felicity’s heart swelled almost painfully in her chest. She lifted her head and kissed him, “I promise.”

Tommy rolled off her and switched out the light. He held out his arms and she cuddled into his side. His fingers caressed their way down her spine. “Felicity?”

“Yeah, babe?” she asked through a yawn.

“Do you still have that nose ring you wore in college?”

Felicity lifted her head, “Tommy Merlyn, do you have a thing for goth chicks?”

“Put on that nose ring and some black lipstick and find out,” he grinned.

“I’m sure it is around here somewhere,” she placed her head back onto his chest and a plan to create his fantasy began to form.

 

Felicity stepped inside their home and immediately kicked off her four inch heels. They hit the wall with a satisfying thud and she sighed as her feet flattened against the floor. Hildy sat patiently for her leash to be unhooked. “All right, sweet girl,” Felicity rubbed the large red dog’s head as she removed the leash, “go see what daddy left in your,”

Her words tapered off as she watched Hildy run towards the kitchen. A trail of rose petals led from the foyer to the stairs. From the top of the stairs she could see candle light flickering from inside her bedroom. She followed the trail and stopped just inside the doorway. A baby pink satin blindfold and four matching silk scarves sat on the bed. She swallowed heavily and squeezed her thighs together. The sound of music turning on in their bathroom drew her attention from the bed. The light coming from beneath the bathroom door was also soft candlelight.

She slowly opened the bathroom door to find Tommy standing in the middle of the bathroom in a pair of pink silk boxers and holding two glasses of champagne. His face lit up with a smile, “Welcome home.”

“What’s all this?” she asked as she took the glass of champagne he offered. The bathroom was fragrant with the scent of frangipani and there were petals floating in the tub.

“You’ve had a tough week at the office, I thought you could use a little pampering,” he clinked his glass against hers.

Felicity took a sip of her champagne and placed it on the edge of the tub. She slowly undressed for Tommy, enjoying teasing him a little bit. “Are you going to join me?” she asked as she sank into the hot water that was the perfect temperature. He was an expert at drawing her baths just the way she liked them.

“Only if you want me to.”

She rested her arms on the edge of the tub and bit her lip. Tommy was gathering up the clothes she’d recently discarded and placing them on the counter. He blushed as he realized she was watching him. “Was there ever any doubt?” she asked when he finally turned to look at her.

“To be honest, I was stalling for a bit of time. I don’t want my flesh to melt off,” Tommy slipped his silk boxers over his hips and dropped them onto the pile of Felicity’s clothing. Felicity scooted forward so he could get in behind her. He hissed as he lowered himself into the water and started with a familiar complaint, “I don’t know how you can stand it this hot.”

“We can add some cold water,” she offered, even though the hot water had her muscles completely relaxing. She sank into his arms and smiled when he kissed the top of her head.

“No, it’s good for my internal organs to get boiled every so often,” he passed Felicity her glass of champagne.

“I noticed the gifts you left on the bed,” she took another sip of her champagne.

“Merely an option,” he caressed her sides. “We can do or not do - whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Felicity was excited by the idea of being restrained and she was touched that Tommy had listened to what she’d said and was willing to try something new with her. “I’d like to try it,” she said turning around to face him.

He leaned forward and kissed her chastely. He twirled his finger for her to turn back around, “Patience will be the name of the game tonight and that starts now.”

She squirmed against him and he grabbed hold of her hips, “No. We’re in the tub to relax and unwind after a long day. Drink your champagne. Enjoy the music.”

“Boil my organs,” she teased as she relaxed against him.

He snorted, “I honestly don’t know how you enjoy this. I could cook lobsters in here with us.”

“I appreciate your sacrifice,” she said as she stretched. The hand cupping her breast shifted and he began to gently roll her nipple. “I thought we were relaxing,” she teased.

“This is me relaxing.” He released her nipple and banded his arm right beneath her breasts and pulled her closer against him. “Having you in my arms is the best part of my day.”

“Mine too,” she turned her head so she could kiss his neck.

An hour later she held up her fingers, “I’m all pruney.”

He kissed her fingertips, “You’re beautiful all pruney.”

“I’ll remind you that you said that when I’m eighty,” she said as she slipped into her new pink silk robe. The assumption that they would still be together when she was eighty seemed only natural. She could picture spending the rest of her life with Tommy and her heart fluttered thinking about the possibilities of their lives shared together.

“You won’t need to remind me,” he said pulling his boxers on, “I will always find you beautiful.”

She tied the sash on her robe, “Is there a significance to the color?”

He opened the bathroom door for her, “I was trying to avoid the whole S&M thing. Black or red just seemed too much for what I want tonight to be about.”

“Which is?” she stepped into his arms.

“Figuring out who we are, in here,” he kissed the tip of her nose. “A little experimenting – letting you explore your desires. Showing you how much I love you.”

“What do we do first?” she eyed the bed with nervous anticipation. She wasn’t really sure what she should expect.

He led her to the bed and gestured for her to sit beside him, “First, we come up with a safe word.”

She looked around the room anxiously, “I thought we were just using scarves and a blindfold.”

Tommy clasped her hands, “Babe, I don’t have a riding crop hidden in the bedroom. I’m not going to do any spanking or anything like that. I want you to have a safe word in case the restraints become too tight or if you’re feeling overwhelmed. If you say the word, everything stops. The blindfold comes off. The restraints come off. Everything stops.”

Felicity bit her lip as she tried to think of a word that she wouldn’t ever have the need to say in the bedroom. An image flashed into her mind and she said, “Pineapple.”

“Pineapple?” he asked trying and failing to keep a straight face.

“Yes, Pineapple,” she said with conviction. The likelihood of her breaking into the theme song of Spongebob Squarepants while having sex was very small.

“Pineapple it is.” He rose from the bed and held out his hand. “Take your robe off and lay in the middle of the bed, face up.”

She dropped her robe and raised her eyebrows at Tommy with a naughty grin on her face. He pointed to the bed and she did as he instructed. When she was in position, Tommy crawled over to her and handed her the blindfold, “Put this on.” Once she had secured the mask, he asked, “What’s your safe word?”

“Pineapple.”

The bed shifted beneath her as Tommy moved. Music began to play softly and she could hear Tommy moving around the room. Drawers opened and closed and she wasn’t sure if he was doing it to build anticipation or if he was gathering supplies. She wriggled a little against the mattress with some nervous energy. The mattress dipped again, “Tell me which one you like better.”

A floral scent wafted past her nose, followed by sandalwood and then something citrusy. “Pick one,” Tommy instructed.

“The second one,” the sandalwood smelled earthier and more sensual.

“Roll over,” he said gently.

Felicity complied and Tommy straddled her thighs. She sighed in contentment as the heel of his oil covered hands went from the base of her spine up to her shoulder blades. Felicity’s muscles melted as his strong hands massaged her back, shoulders, neck and arms. She was falling asleep when he began to massage her legs. He started with her feet and slowly moved up her calves and thighs until he reached her bottom. He kneaded and massaged her backside and then returned to her thighs. His hands slid between her legs but didn’t graze her sex. Felicity began to writhe beneath his hands as she tried to redirect his touch. He placed a kiss to her butt check, “Roll over.”

Felicity rolled over and expected him to kiss her, but he resumed his massage. He concentrated on her neck, shoulders and arms before his hands traveled down the center of her chest without touching her breasts. His hands rubbed her belly and massaged her hips before focusing his attention back on her legs. “How do you feel?” he asked.

“Good,” she yawned. Felicity was worried that Tommy’s sensual plans for the evening were going to hit a snag when she fell asleep on him.

His lips pressed against her as the slide of silk trailed across her chest. Felicity’s breath hitched and Tommy deepened their kiss. “Do you want me to tie you up?”

Felicity was very much awake. She nodded her head and breathily said, “Yes.”

“What’s your safe word?”

“Pineapple,” she said with a smile.

The mattress shifted beneath her again as Tommy rose from the bed. Her head followed him as he moved around the bed. “Arms above your head,” he said from the foot of the bed.

Felicity raised her arms and her breathing increased as she realized he was watching her. The bed dipped to her left and Tommy gently took hold of her left hand. He trailed his fingers up her palm and across her fingers which caused her hips to lift from the bed. He kissed the center of her palm and then wrapped silk around her wrist. “Is it too tight?”

Felicity pulled against the restraint. She couldn’t free her hand, but the binding wasn’t tight, “No, it’s fine.”

The bed shifted again and he was once again moving around the room. He reappeared on the right side of the bed and repeated the same steps before he bound her wrist. “Still okay?” he asked.

“I’m good,” she answered.

Tommy shifted on the bed and she could feel the heat from his body next to her, but he didn’t touch her. He remained motionless for several minutes, but she could feel the heat of his gaze. His fingertip, with a feather light touch, trailed from the center of her forehead down her nose, across her cheek, around her eyes and then down her other cheek before tracing around her lips. Felicity’s skin erupted in goose flesh as his finger left her face and trailed down her neck and across her collarbone. His finger trailed down the center of her chest and then circled her breast, moving closer and closer to her nipple. Her nipples were both hard peaks and Felicity wanted Tommy’s mouth on her breasts. She whimpered as his finger stayed on the outside of her areola before switching to her other breast. Without warning, his lips closed around her nipple and he sucked it against the roof of his mouth.

“Ah,” she gasped as her back bowed off the bed. He released her nipple with a wet pop. Instead of turning his attention to her neglected nipple, he began to flick the one he just released with his tongue. The firm taps of his tongue against her stiff peak had her squeezing her thighs together. “Tommy,” she whimpered as her core pulsed as he lavished his attention to her breast. He blew softly against her wet nipple, causing her to shiver and pull against her restraints. He moved to her other breast and repeated his ministrations.

He mouthed her ribs and stomach as he moved down to where she was so desperate to feel his touch. Tommy moved between her legs and began to lick, kiss and nibble her inner thighs. Felicity was unable to keep her hips from jerking. He wrapped his arms around the back of her legs before spreading her thighs wide. His grip was firm, but gentle and had succeeded in immobilizing her legs. He blew across her sex and she cried out, “Please, Tommy.”

He barely ran his tongue over her slit. His strokes were light and teasing before he plunged between her folds and swirled his tongue around her clit. “Gagh,” her breath stuttered in her throat.

“You’re beautiful,” Tommy said with awe. “I’m going to make you cum around my tongue over and over again,” he promised.

Felicity gave herself over to the sensation of Tommy’s mouth on her sex. Between her arms being restrained and Tommy’s hold on her legs she was unable to bring him closer or push him further away. She was at the mercy of his tongue and it had none for her. His tongue danced around her clit, but refused to give her the contact she needed to build her orgasm. Tommy sucked and licked her folds as he traveled closer to her entrance. He used his thumbs to open her folds and then plunged his tongue inside. He pulled her hips closer to his mouth and kissed her entrance slowly as he thrust his tongue against her upper wall. She groaned in frustration when she couldn’t raise her hips to meet his thrusts. Tommy chuckled against her and kissed her inner thigh. Before she could protest the loss of his mouth from where she wanted him, he thrust his fingers inside of her and began to flick her clit with his tongue. “Fuck,” she panted as the orgasm that had been just out of reach began to barrel down on her. Her wrists jerked in the silk scarves as she instinctively wanted to reach out and cradle Tommy’s head. His fingers brushed against her spongy spot and the sensation bordered on being too much. She wanted to pull away and she wanted more as her orgasm coiled tighter and tighter in her core. Tommy’s lips wrapped around her clit and she shattered. Behind the blindfold, she saw a white supernova explode as Tommy’s lips and fingers continued to work her through her orgasm. Normally, she’d be able to use her hands or legs to escape the intense pleasure, but she was immobile and her orgasm continued to ripple through her in wave after wave. Her body began to shake and her hands, feet and lips began to tingle. Tommy gentled his touch. He withdrew his fingers and his mouth moved from her clit. He lapped at her entrance to capture her essence before he placed a kiss on each thigh and then right below her belly button.

He rubbed his scruffy chin on her belly. “You okay?” he asked tenderly. “Numb?”

Unable to find the words, she merely hummed.

The bed shifted and Tommy’s body pressed against her side. He hooked a leg between hers and he ran his fingers through her damp hair. His nose rubbed against hers and she tilted her chin in an attempt to chase his lips. “Kiss me,” she whispered.

Without further teasing, he captured her bottom lip between his and sucked gently. His tongue caressed her lip before darting inside to tangle with her tongue. His kiss was slow and wet and she could taste herself on him. Felicity felt drunk as he deepened the kiss. She twisted her hips to better position his thigh and she began to slowly ride his leg. Tommy pulled his lips and leg away, causing her to whimper. His fingers trailed between her breasts and then the bed shifted again. Tommy took hold of her hips, “Roll over,” he instructed.

Her heart began to race at his instructions, but she did as he instructed. There was enough give in her restraints that she could turn over. Her arms stretched over her head and crossed at her wrists. Tommy’s fingers trailed down her spine, causing her flesh to pebble. “You have all of the control, babe,” he reminded her. “What’s your safe word?”

“Pineapple.”

He gently pinched her bottom, “Up on your knees.” Tommy grabbed hold of her hips and lifted them from the bed allowing for Felicity to bring her knees beneath her. He used his hands to widen her stance and spread her open to his gaze. He began to press kisses against the base of her spine and his fingers began to slowly roll her clit between them. “God, your ass is beautiful,” he said huskily. His lips landed on her right cheek and he kissed and nipped at her flesh. He did the same with her left cheek, all the while his fingers kept rolling her clit. Without warning, his tongue plunged between her cheeks and circled her furrowed hole.

Felicity’s hips jumped at the new sensation. She’d watched Oliver rim Tommy countless time and watched him pant with pleasure as Oliver’s tongue circled and then breached his puckered hole. Tommy would often press a finger against her as she orgasmed, but he’d never used his tongue or pushed inside. Her heart began to race and she wasn’t sure if it was from fear, anticipation or, possibly, both. Her orgasm began to build under his relentless caress of her clit. He didn’t increase his speed or pressure but her orgasm remained inevitable. His tongue swirled around her virgin opening, getting closer and closer. His tongue ran over the sensitive skin and Felicity mewled with pleasure. Her reaction encouraged him and his strokes became firmer. “Tommy,” she gasped as she shuddered with her orgasm. He continued to lick her as his fingers worked her clit through her orgasm.

As soon as her orgasm plateaued, Tommy lowered her legs so she was flat on the bed. He took hold of her hips and rolled her onto her back. He dropped between her legs and put them over his shoulder, immobilizing her hips once more. Her orgasm was still pulsing through her when he slid his fingers into her fluttering core. His tongue began to swirl around her clit, causing Felicity to cry out and thrash her head side to side. “I can’t,” she gasped.

Tommy lifted his head, “Are you using your safe word?”

She wanted to scream, pineapple, but there was an even larger part of her that wanted to see how far they could take this. She wanted to know if this knife’s edge he had her on would turn into pleasure. “No,” she told him.

“Good,” she could hear the smile in his voice, “because I think you can.”

His tongue began to flick against her clit in time with the thrusting of his fingers. What at first seemed painful from being overstimulated soon morphed into a burgeoning warmth and a promise of another orgasm. Felicity moaned and hummed her pleasure as the sensations Tommy was providing her with robbed her of her language. She was reduced to the most basic of needs, the desire to come. Tommy sucked her clit between his lips and caressed the bundle of nerves with his tongue. She threw her head back as her orgasm narrowed to a single point. Tommy’s fingers pushed against her spongy interior and a lone wet fingertip pushed inside her puckered hole as he sucked hard on her clit. Felicity’s world went silent before her orgasm exploded out from her core. Her body clamped down tightly around his fingers and her orgasm intensified. Tommy’s mouth didn’t stop sucking against her and her body went rigid beneath him and another orgasm tore through her. Her arms, legs and face went completely numb and she began to tremble.

Overcome with emotion and sensation she began to weep. She pulled against the restraints with the need to make herself smaller. She could feel Tommy already moving as he made soothing noises. He removed the blindfold and stared into her eyes. “Pineapple,” she said through her tears.

“Okay,” Tommy said gently as he freed her right wrist, “I’ve got you.”

She put her free arm around his back and held him close. As soon as he freed her left arm, she put it around him. Felicity craved the warmth and weight of his body. He made her feel safe and whole.

Tommy wrapped his arms around her, rolled them to their sides, and held her tight, “Are you all right?”

She nodded, because she was. “It was too much,” she explained.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked with alarm.

Felicity shook her head, “No, it felt really, really, good.”

His brow creased, “Talk to me, what just happened?”

Felicity didn’t know if she could explain what she was experiencing. It hadn’t been a conscious thought but overwhelming emotions. “I just love you so much,” she said as tears filled her eyes again. “You make me feel so loved.”

His eyes filled with tears, “Good, because I love you.”

Felicity lifted her leg over his hip and opened herself to him. She brushed her lips against his and nuzzled their noses together without taking her eyes from him. Tommy slid his hand between them and guided his cock to her entrance and slowly pushed into her wet heat. His hand moved to clasp her bottom and brought them closer together. Lying on their sides, face to face, didn’t allow for deep penetration but Felicity’s whole body hummed with his every thrust. Their hands were everywhere as they caressed and stroked each other. They shared breath with every gasp and sigh. Small smiles turned up their lips as they gazed into one another’s eyes. Tommy’s breathing became more rapid and he moved to touch her clit, but she intercepted his hand. She was too sensitive and he’d already given her plenty of orgasms – it was his turn to find his release. She smiled at him, “I’m good. Let go.”

His fingers dug into her hip and his thrusts became erratic as he chased his own release. His eyes never left hers, “Felicity.”

She caressed his face and kissed is lips, “I’m right here. I love you.”

His lips hungrily captured hers as he held their pelvises tightly together as he thrust one final time. He broke their kiss and cried out, “Felicity.”

Felicity kissed his forehead and stroked his back as he came down from his orgasm. He reached for her hands and held them between them. No words were spoken between them as they continued to look into each other’s eyes. Tommy’s face lit up in a smile, “Love is such an inadequate word for how I feel about you.”

Felicity agreed. The word didn’t come close to expressing her depth of feeling for the man who lay before her. She nuzzled his nose, “We should come up with a word.”

He grinned, “I already know the word. I am completely Smoaked.”

His sincerity and silliness made her giggle, “Smoaked?”

“Yeah,” he pressed her hands against his still racing heart, “everything I am completely belongs to you.”

 

“I want to go on a date,” Felicity informed Tommy as she put her earrings in as she got ready for work.

He sat up in bed, “With whom?”

She rolled her eyes, “Prince William.”

“I don’t think Kate would approve,” he teased.

Felicity sat on the edge of the bed and took his hand, “I want you to take me out in public, on a date. I want to hold your hand and kiss you where people can see us.”

“Felicity,” he linked their fingers together and brought her knuckles to his lips, “are you sure about this?”

“Yes, I’m sure. It’s been six weeks. If this is our new normal, then let’s be normal.” Their relationship with Oliver had made them all secretive. They were more comfortable keeping an ocean between them when they went out in public than they were holding hands. It had become a habit to not touch or look longingly at one another. They had the platonic routine down pat. She was tired of it. If Oliver had made his choice to end their relationship, they had to take steps to accept it. She could think of nothing more definitive of moving on than going out publicly and declaring her love for Tommy for all the world to see.

“We won’t be able to walk it back,” he said plainly.

“Do you think you’ll want to walk it back?” she asked with surprise. Felicity had anticipated Tommy embracing her plan to go public without the need for any convincing.

“No,” he pulled her onto his lap. “Nothing would make me happier than to shout from the rooftops that I’m in love with you and that you’re crazy enough to want to be with me too.”

“But?”

“But, us going out in public, us dating in public – that’s a game changer. We change the narrative and we can’t rewrite it.”

“You’re worried about Oliver?” she asked with sudden realization. If she and Tommy started to publicly date, it would make it harder for Oliver to change his mind and come home to them.

“Not as much as I’m worried about you.”

“Me?”

“There is a big difference between being Tommy Merlyn’s gal pal and roommate and being Tommy Merlyn’s girlfriend. People are going to assume that you cheated on Oliver. People at QC are going to treat you differently, especially the board. Not to mention that you’ll be dating the son of a mass murderer. I’m not a prize for someone like you. Going public about us, might not be good for you.”

“So, we hide our relationship too?” Felicity stood up, “I’m tired of living a lie. I accepted the necessity of the lie when we were a three, but there is no reason for us to lie now. I don’t care about the board. I don’t care if people think we had an affair. I don’t care if people want to snicker about Malcolm. You, Tommy Merlyn, are a prize for someone like me. I love you. I’m proud to be your girlfriend and I want the world to know it.”

Tommy got out of bed and pulled her tight. He kissed her and smiled, “Okay. I’d like to take you on a date. We can start off slow and lowkey, away from the cameras. See how it feels before we walk down a red carpet or eat at Table Salt.”

Felicity didn’t want to take it slow, but if Tommy did, she was willing to take it as slow as he needed, “I’d like that.”

 

The sound of water gently lapping against the side of the boat and the soft sway of the bay had rocked Felicity into a meditative state. All she was aware of was the motion of the boat, the sound of the water and the warmth of the sun against her skin. She was suspended in the state between sleep and wakefulness. For the first time in six weeks she was able to be still and not cry. Tommy’s footsteps reverberated through the wood of the deck as he approached her silently. He sat down next to her, but didn’t lay down. She rolled onto her back and shielded her eyes with her hand, “When do we need to head back?”

Felicity had woken the day before to Tommy packing a bag for them before the sun was even up. He’d announced that they were taking out the Sunnybrook and that they were going to spend their Saturday night out on the ocean looking at the stars. He’d packed a cooler with provisions and only needed her to ask Curtis and Paul if they’d watch Hildy overnight. Tommy didn’t want to leave her with Thea and Roy because Oliver was staying there and if he wanted to spend time with their dog then he shouldn’t have left. Felicity chose not to point out Tommy’s pettiness because he’d been a rock since Oliver walked out and he was entitled to his anger. Curtis texted her back within minutes of her asking about Hildy and told her that it was a good thing he didn’t expect his boss to show boundaries. On their way to the marina, Felicity used her key to let Hildy and her provisions into Curtis’ apartment. They were sailing through the channel as the sun rose over Starling and had been lost in their own little world ever since.

Tommy stared out at the horizon, “We have two hours before we should head back. I want to make it into the channel before sunset.”

“Curtis said that he’d bring Hildy to work tomorrow, so we don’t need to pick her up tonight,” Felicity said as she sat up. “After we close up the boat, maybe we can go to Two Lights and eat some oysters and drink champagne before we head home?”

Tommy hummed noncommittally. She shifted so that she was sitting between his legs with her back against his chest and he automatically wrapped his arms around her. He dropped his chin to the top of her head. “Let’s take the week off and sail to Santa Barbara. We talked about doing it last summer and we never went.”

The fact that Oliver pitched a fit whenever Tommy proposed taking Felicity out on the boat for more than a few hours remained unsaid. Oliver had barely been able to cope with them taking the boat out for an afternoon, but he freaked out anytime they proposed going anywhere on the boat overnight. Neither of them ever pushed back against Oliver’s despotic pronouncements since they understood his very real fear of them being on the open ocean, especially at night. She’d told Dig, Thea and Roy that they were going to spend the weekend on the boat and she expected that all three had chosen to keep the news from Oliver.  “I’ll have to call Jerry and have him rearrange my calendar.” She sighed, “I’ll have to tell Oliver. Technically, he’s my boss.”

“What’s he going to do if you don’t tell him first?” Tommy asked bitterly. “Fire you?”

“No, of course not, but I do need to keep things professional at the office, no matter what’s happening in our personal life.”

“You could quit,” Tommy said dispassionately.

“What?” she asked as she turned in his arms to face him. “Quit QC? Are you serious?”

Tommy shrugged, “It would serve him right if you quit. Palmer Tech. Wayne Enterprises. Kord Industries. They’d all hire you in a heartbeat. Hell, you could start your own company and put the lot of them out of business.”

“Tommy, I love my job. Is my working at QC going to be a problem for us?” she asked with concern.

“No more so than my job at Verdant.” He blew air between his lips, “Oliver Fucking Queen is everywhere.”

“Tommy?” she gently pushed his sunglasses up to the top of his head so she could look him in the eyes.

He smiled and pushed her hair behind her ears, “I’m sorry. I’m having a bit of a pity party for myself.”

“You’re allowed,” she rubbed her knuckles against his scruff. “Since he left, you’ve been playing things pretty close to your vest to protect me. I’ve been worried.”

He kissed her temple, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to add to your worries. Seeing him the other day, was harder than I expected.”

Oliver’s ambush and their kiss in the park had really messed with Tommy. He’d thought Oliver had sought him out to apologize and to ask to find a way to work things out so he could come home, but then Oliver had held firm.

“I love you,” she said as she rubbed her nose against his. “It’s okay to tell me that you miss him. I miss him too.”

He smiled, “What did I do to deserve you?”

She brushed her lips against his, “You didn’t have to do anything. Being Tommy Merlyn was all it took.”

“I love you, Felicity,” his lips captured hers in a desperate kiss. He rolled them until she was on her back and he was laying on top of her, cradled between her legs. He buried his fingers in her salt kissed hair and angled her head to deepen the kiss.

Felicity removed his sunglasses and then pushed at the button down shirt he wore over his t-shirt. She didn’t want anything between them. She moaned into his mouth and he sat up on his knees in order to remove his shirts. As he lifted his arms over his head, Felicity reached for the button on his shorts. She had his shorts and briefs below his hips by the time his t-shirt hit the deck. He sat down on the blanket and kicked off his shoes as Felicity helped to pull his shorts all the way off. She pushed on his shoulders until he was laying on his back. She knelt between his knees and without fanfare licked the vein on the underside of his cock, ran her tongue over the crown of his penis before taking him into her mouth.

“Fuck,” he gasped as her warm wet mouth engulfed him. His fingers pushed her curls away from her face so he could watch her.

Felicity raised her eyes to meet Tommy’s as her hand chased her mouth’s movement up his shaft. Her mouth popped off his head and her wrist flicked and the palm of her hand covered his head before her hand twisted again and stroked down his shaft. Her mouth followed her hand and she hummed deep in her throat in order to send vibrations through his cock.

“Felicity,” he cried as his hips thrust towards her. He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her off of him. His fingers reached for the ties that held her bikini bottoms together. As Tommy unlaced her bottoms, Felicity removed her bikini top. Tommy sat up and pulled her onto his lap. She rose onto her knees and pulled on the hair at the base of his skull so she could angle his head for a kiss.

Felicity sucked his lower lip into her mouth as she reached behind her to guide his cock to her entrance. She slid her tongue into his mouth and licked the roof of his mouth as she sank onto him. His hands grabbed her hips and he controlled the speed and rotation of her movements. Her nipples were tight peaks and rubbed against his chest as she ground her pelvis against him. The sensation of the hair on his chest brushing against her nipples made her internal muscles contract around Tommy. Their position gave them maximum body contact but she wasn’t getting the friction she needed. “Tommy,” she gasped against his mouth.

She didn’t need to tell Tommy more than that. They were practiced lovers and he was able to read her body and translate every gasp, sigh and moan that left her lips. He went to lay back so she could ride him, but when she dropped her shoulder he flipped them so that she was on her back and he lay above her. Felicity’s legs dragged up the back of Tommy’s until her ankles hooked beneath his ass. He dropped his shoulders so he could hook her knees around his elbows. The shift in position angled her pelvis and brought her in direct alignment with his. Every thrust he made, rubbed against her clit. Each time his thrust bottomed out he rotated his hips against her. She threw her head back as she could feel her orgasm begin to build and start to ripple out from her core. Tommy’s lips landed on her throat and he pressed wet sloppy kisses along her neck until he reached her ear. His tongue wrapped around her industrial piercing and he tugged on it. Her back arched off the deck as her orgasm blossomed outwards from her center and fluttered throughout her body, “Tommy.”

He released her legs and gently rocked against her as she pulsed around him. He kissed her lips lovingly as he looked into her eyes. When she smiled, he grinned in return.

She sighed as he again began to thrust into her slowly and her mouth opened in a silent, “Oh,” as her aftershocks were heightened by his movement. She wrapped her legs around his waist and swirled her hips in time with his.

Tommy laced their fingers together and held them beside her head. His movement was almost languid as he gazed into her eyes, “I love you.”

She smiled, “I love you.” Their eyes remained locked on one another as Tommy thrust in time with the swaying of the boat.

Ever since Oliver left, Felicity and Tommy’s lovemaking had changed. They’d had sex without Oliver countless times, but he was always still a part of it, but over the past six weeks, making love to Tommy felt different to Felicity. She felt more connected to him than she’d felt before - which considering how she felt about him before, was saying something. It was like he was pouring himself into every crack Oliver had put into her heart. The pain over Oliver’s decision was still raw and knocked the breath out of her when she thought about it, but when Tommy’s body was wrapped around her and he looked into her eyes as he moved inside of her, all she felt was loved. Her world was falling apart, but Tommy made her feel safe and cherished. Her original fear that she’d lose Tommy when Oliver left vanished after the first time they made love on their own and they stayed awake into the early hours discussing their fears. She was certain that they were going to make it through to the other side, together.

Felicity pulled Tommy closer with her arms and legs as she felt the stirrings of another orgasm begin to build. She lifted her head to capture his lips in a kiss that was as slow and as heated as their lovemaking. Tommy didn’t increase the speed of his thrusts but he was putting more force into them. Even as they kissed their eyes were locked on one another and Felicity could detect a glint in his eye. He broke their kiss and smiled, “Together, babe.” He stretched their joined hands over her head which forced his pubic bone to rub directly against her clit.

“Yes,” she gasped, “together.”

He reclaimed her mouth and they swallowed each sigh and moan they shared. Felicity watched as his eyes blew wide and then contracted to a pinpoint just as her own orgasm crashed through her. Tommy sucked in a sharp breath and then laughed as her internal muscles contracted tightly around him. He began to pepper her face and neck with kisses as he caught his breath. Felicity wrapped her arms and legs around him tighter, not wanting him to move or break their connection. His weight on her was reassuring.

He lifted his head and pushed her hair from her forehead. He smiled at her so brightly her body responded by contracting around him. He threw his head back and laughed again, “God, I love you.”

When he looked back at her with an even bigger smile she couldn’t help but laugh. She was never one to believe in miracles, but Tommy Merlyn was her miracle. She ran her fingers through his hair, “Let’s go to Santa Barbara.”

“Yeah?” he asked like he didn’t quite believe her.

She kissed the tip of his nose, “We deserve to get away. There’s nothing going on at work that can’t wait a week for my immediate attention.”

“If we leave in the morning, we can be there Tuesday night. We can go wine tasting for a few days and then be home next weekend,” he said with excitement.

“I’ll call Jerry and Curtis from Two Lights,” she said with a wink. “We’ll also have to drop off more food for Hildy.”

“Someone really wants oysters for dinner,” Tommy teased as he rolled them so that they were on their sides facing one another.

“What can I say?” she asked as she pinched his bottom. “All of this boat sex is making me crave oysters and champagne.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around?” he asked as he nuzzled her neck. “Oysters, then boat sex?”

She tugged on the hair at the nape of his neck until he looked at her, “Well, I think that there is a good chance for oysters and then bed sex tonight.”

“Not gonna happen, Smoak,” he said solemnly.

Felicity laughed, “Don’t tell me that I’ve tired you out already?”

Tommy sucked on her neck where it met her collarbone, “I don’t think we’ll make it as far as the bed. I was thinking of having you up against our front door.”

Felicity swallowed heavily. She pushed on his shoulders and sat up. She grabbed his shorts and threw them at him. He arched a brow at her and she playfully batted her eyelashes at him, “The sooner we get back, the sooner we can make that happen.”

Tommy saluted her, “Aye, aye, captain.”

 

It was nine o’clock by the time Tommy and Felicity returned to Cobble Hill. Tommy carried their cooler and Felicity had their overnight bag over her shoulder.

“Where are you going?” she asked as she shut the front door and he started walking towards the kitchen.

“I was just going to put this…” his words died on his lips as he turned around.

Felicity had pulled her sundress over her head and was standing in nothing but her panties. She shimmied out of them and stared at him innocently. She backed up against the front door, “I do believe you made me a promise about this door.”

Tommy put the cooler down, kicked off his shoes and pulled his shirt over his head. He strode over to her and cupped her bottom and lifted her off the floor. Her legs automatically wrapped around him and her fingers flew to the button on his shorts. He pushed her against the door which enabled him to let go of her bottom and push his shorts and briefs off of his hips. He smiled at her, “I’m feeding you oysters every day for the rest of our lives.”

She wrapped her hand around his rigid cock and pumped him, “Less talking, more fucking.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” he said right before he captured her lips and thrust inside of her.

The sound of their skin slapping together and moans echoed through the foyer and the front door rattled in its frame. Tommy’s hand slid between them and he began to rub her clit with the pad of his thumb. “Tommy,” she gasped and threw her head back against the door with a loud thud.

Tommy stopped moving and lifted his head, “Are you all right?”

She looked at him with frustration, “Oh my god, don’t stop what you were doing.”

He chuckled as he returned his attention to her neck, “Yes, ma’am.”  His hips resumed snapping into her and his thumb continued to work her clit.

Felicity’s arms wrapped around Tommy’s neck and she cradled his head with her hands, “Tommy,” she moaned into his ear.

Tommy’s thumb increased its speed and pressure which had her moaning louder. He kissed behind her ear, “Come for me, babe.”

Felicity thrust her hips against him and with two more thrusts, Tommy had her unraveling in his arms. “Tommy,” she cried as he continued to pump inside of her.

His arms crossed around her back and his hands clutched her shoulders. The sound of her name falling from his lips was muffled by her neck as he came. He fell against her and his weight pinned her to the door.

Felicity’s hands ran over his sweaty back, “Well done, Mr. Merlyn.”

His arms tightened around her and he kissed her neck. When he lifted his head, he was smiling, “Oysters - all of the time.”

He lowered her legs to the ground and grabbed his shirt from where he tossed it. He wiped the wetness from her thighs before picking up the rest of the clothes that littered the foyer. “I’ll empty the cooler if you go upstairs and fill the tub.”

She grabbed the clothes from his arms and their overnight bag, “I’ll throw these in the washer first.”

Felicity headed towards their kitchen putting a lot of sway in her hips as she went. She laughed when he muttered, “You’re killing me, woman.”

She walked into their dark kitchen and was heading towards their laundry room when the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. She spun around to see a figure sitting at their kitchen table. “Oliver,” she yelled, “you scared the shit out of me.”

The sound of the cooler slamming onto the counter made Felicity jump. Felicity turned towards Tommy to find him leaning heavily against the marble surface. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked coldly.

“I wanted to talk,” Oliver said quietly.

Tommy walked over to Felicity and took his shorts from her hands. As he pulled them on, he asked, “You didn’t think you should call first?”

“I didn’t think I had to,” Oliver said, his voice laced with uncertainty, “I thought that this was my home.”

Felicity dropped all but her sundress to the floor. She slipped the short dress over her head and took a hesitant step towards Oliver, “Is everything all right? Did something happen on patrol?”

“No, everything isn’t all right,” he said sadly. “I’ve fucked everything up.”

Tommy snorted with derision, “That, is a colossal understatement.” He moved to the cooler and began to unpack its contents, “You have until I’m finished putting all of this away to say what you came to say. Felicity and I have an early start tomorrow.”

“Are you going somewhere?” Oliver asked Felicity.

“Yeah, we’re going on a trip.” She felt like she’d just been caught cheating and she feared that she was about to throw up, which was ridiculous because having sex with Tommy wasn’t cheating. Felicity’s fingers knotted together nervously, “I was going to send you an email tonight to tell you that I’m going to be taking the week off.”

Oliver’s head dropped into his hands and it was all Felicity could do to stay where she stood. The overhead light came on and Felicity blinked as her eyes adjusted to the light. Oliver looked up and she almost gasped at his appearance. His eyes were sunken and he looked like he hadn’t slept or ate since he walked out on them. He was sitting in such a way that she knew that his ribs were bruised badly or fractured. She’d have to check in with Dig to find out what happened on patrol. His jaw was swollen where someone got in a good jab. If she had to guess, it was Dig, not a criminal, who landed the blow to his jaw.

Felicity watched as Tommy took in Oliver’s appearance and all of his anger seemed to drain out of him. Tommy closed his eyes and tilted his head towards the ceiling. She could see him wage an internal battle. When he lowered his head, he looked at Felicity. He was asking her a million questions. _What do you want? Do you want to listen? Do you want him to stay? Do you want him to go? Do you want to forgive him? Can you forgive him? Can I forgive him?_

Felicity shrugged her shoulders. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know if Oliver was there to beg for their forgiveness or to ask them to buy out his third of their home. She was afraid to hope. She was afraid not to hope.

Tommy crossed over to her and freed her fingers from where they were clenched tightly against her stomach. He lifted her hands to his chest and kissed her softly on the lips. He turned to Oliver, “Have you eaten?”

Oliver shrugged, “I haven’t been hungry.”

“Well, you look like shit.” Tommy opened the refrigerator, “I can offer you eggs or pasta.”

“Eggs are fine,” Oliver said meekly. “Where’s Hildy?”

“We left her with Curtis and Paul,” Felicity said as she picked up the clothes and bag she’d dropped to the floor.

“Where were you last night?” Oliver asked.

“We spent the night on the Sunnybrook,” Tommy said as he whisked eggs in a bowl. He looked up and his hand stilled, “Have you been sitting here since last night?”

Oliver looked back at his hands, “I wanted to talk and I didn’t want to miss you.”

“Jesus, Ollie,” Tommy resumed whisking his eggs.

Felicity hugged their dirty clothes tighter to her chest and began to cry. She was standing in her kitchen with Tommy’s cum dripping down her thighs as Oliver confessed he’d spent the last twenty-four hours waiting for them to come home. It was all too much and she started moving towards the stairs, “I need to take a shower.”

Oliver stood up, but sat back down when Tommy pointed at him. Tommy took everything out of Felicity’s arms and smiled sympathetically at her. He wiped her tears with his thumb and kissed her chastely, “Take your time. I won’t kill him or kick him out before you’re back. Unless you want me to?”

Felicity snorted, “I haven’t decided yet.” She looked at Oliver, “You won’t leave before I’m back?”

He nodded, “I promise, I’ll still be here when you come back downstairs.”

 

Felicity was rinsing the conditioner from her hair when the shower door opened and Tommy joined her. “Where’s Oliver?” she asked, fearing that Oliver changed his mind and left before they could talk.

Tommy switched places with her under the showerhead, “Relax, he’s taking a shower and changing his clothes.”

“What did he say?” Felicity asked as Tommy shampooed his hair.

“Nothing, he just ate his eggs and toast while I put our stuff away.”

“What do you think he wants?” Felicity stared at her toes.

“He says he wants to talk,” Tommy turned off the shower, “so we’ll listen to what he says.”

They toweled off in silence. Felicity wrapped her towel around her hair and slipped into the pink robe that was hanging on the back of the door. Tommy wrapped his towel around his waist. He stayed her hand on the doorknob. “No matter what he says, it is going to be our decision, okay?”

She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, “Okay.”

They entered their bedroom to find Oliver standing up from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed. He was dressed in Tommy’s sweatpants and hoodie. His feet were bare and his toes curled into the area rug. “I borrowed these,” he looked around the room, “my drawers are empty.”

“That’s because I boxed up all your stuff,” Tommy brushed by Oliver to grab sleep pants and a t-shirt. “They’re in the basement.”

Oliver winced at Tommy’s words. Tommy had waited two weeks for Oliver to come to his senses. When Oliver hadn’t returned, Felicity had come home to find that Tommy had packed up all of Oliver’s stuff and moved it from their bedroom and master bath. She hadn’t asked what he’d done with it. She’d assumed he’d had it messengered over to Thea’s.

Oliver was watching Tommy warily, like he was wired with a bomb. He swallowed heavily, “You didn’t get rid of my pictures.”

Felicity had been equally surprised when she realized Tommy had removed all traces of Oliver from their closet and drawers, but left his picture hanging on their walls and sitting on their nightstands and dresser. She hadn’t asked him why because she hadn’t been ready to completely cut Oliver out of their home either.

Tommy dropped his towel and pulled on his sleep pants. He lied, “I ran out of boxes.”

“Tommy,” Oliver almost sounded like he was pleading.

“What do you want, Oliver?” Tommy asked stepping into Oliver’s space. “You made it abundantly clear that we aren’t what you want. What more can you possibly say?”

“I’m sorry,” Oliver’s thumb and forefinger rubbed together, “You have always been what I wanted, but I was in a bad place in here,” he pointed to the center of his forehead, “and I acted rashly. I love you. I love both of you.”

“That might not be enough this time, buddy.” Tommy folded his arms across his chest, “Love will never be enough as long as you keep running every time life gets to be too real for you.”

“I thought he had Felicity,” Oliver said angrily. “I thought I killed her.”

Tommy pursed his lips and breathed in and out through his nose. “I understand that Crane really messed with your head, Ollie.”

“It was more than that, Tommy. I actually remember breaking her neck.” Oliver’s fingers flexed in front of his eyes, “I can still feel the small bones snapping beneath my fingers.”

The world was a blur to Felicity without her glasses, but her tears had completely blinded her, “You’d never hurt me, Oliver – at least not intentionally, but this, what you’ve been doing the last six weeks has been breaking my heart.”

“Felicity,” Oliver said softly.

Tommy leaned against the wall facing Oliver, “The thing is, Ollie, that instead of talking to us about what happened and what you’re afraid of, you chose to run away from the two people who love you more than you seem capable of understanding. I thought that with time and patience you’d eventually figure it out, but I’m starting to believe that you will never stop defaulting to your impulse of facing everything alone.”

“I’m trying,” Oliver said as tears fell down his face. “I don’t know how to fix me. There is too much darkness inside of me. I can’t share this burden with you.”

“Bullshit,” Tommy said angrily.

“Don’t say that,” Oliver said angrily. “Don’t minimize what I’m capable of.”

“No one knows what you’re capable of better than us,” Tommy pushed off the wall and moved towards Oliver. He placed his hands protectively on Felicity’s shoulders and pulled her back against his chest. “We’ve both watched you at your worst and neither of us is afraid of your darkness.”

“You should be afraid,” Oliver panted. “You haven’t come close to seeing me at my worst.”

“What do you want from us?” Tommy shouted. “Do you really want us to be afraid? Do you want us to tremble before you?”

“No, of course not. I have never wanted that. I never want that,” he said stepping closer to them, his chest rising and falling quickly, “but it doesn’t change who I am or what I’ve done. When Crane told me that he knew who Felicity was and where she lived, I snapped. I wanted him dead. I needed him dead, but more than that, I needed him to suffer first.”

“It was the toxin, you weren’t thinking clearly,” Felicity was desperate to make him hear reason.

“Maybe I can believe that choking you and shoving Tommy wasn’t my fault. I was hallucinating and I was confused, but I can’t use the toxin as an excuse for what I did to Crane. I killed him, not to protect my secret or yours. I killed him because he threatened to take you from me. I tortured him because I was angry. The darkness inside of me is real.”

“There’s a darkness in all of us. You don’t think I have rage? You don’t think I fantasize about hurting my dad the way he hurt me?”

“That’s different. You’ve never acted on it. When my darkness speaks, I listen. I act.”

“Maybe if I acted on my darkness, my dad would be dead instead of all of his victims.”

“You think I did the right thing with Crane?” Oliver asked with disbelief.

“I wasn’t there, but if he knew who Felicity was, there was no other choice. He was too dangerous to just hand over to the cops. He would’ve been sent back to Arkham or a place just like it.”

“How do I touch you, make love to you, when there is a part of me that is still a cold-blooded murderer?” Oliver asked through his tears.

“It never stopped you before,” Tommy growled. “Why was this different?”

Oliver flinched at the harshness of Tommy’s words. “I’d made the choice to stop killing after Laurel died. I only broke it when Vertigo had Felicity. I was calm when I killed him. I was angry too, but I was in control.” Oliver rubbed his thumb and forefinger together, “With Crane, I was out of control. I tortured him before I killed him. That’s the difference.” He held up his hands, “These belong to a killer. I’m afraid that’s all they’re good for.”

“If that’s true, then why are you here?” Tommy challenged.

“I miss you both,” Oliver admitted. “I thought I’d become more than what the island made me, but then everything with Crane. I’m afraid I’ll never get off the island – not all the way.”

“You should’ve accepted our help. We wanted to help you. We loved you and you threw us away,” Felicity said through her tears.

Oliver gulped and fat tears dropped onto his legs, “Loved?”

“We both still love you, but I don’t know if love is enough anymore,” Tommy said sadly. “Our love wasn’t enough for you. You chose to run, again.”

“Your love,” Oliver’s voice broke, “both of you, its’ all I ever wanted.”

“You didn’t fight for us,” Tommy shouted. “You never fight for us.”

“That’s not true,” Oliver said desperately. “Don’t say that to me – not to me. I fought for you our whole lives.”

“How can you expect to come home if you won’t even be honest about why you left?” Tommy accused.

“I am being honest,” Oliver sputtered.

Tommy inched closer to Oliver, his voice quiet and low, “We both know that part of why you left is because you’re ashamed of being in love with a man. You’re ashamed that you enjoy fucking a man. You’re ashamed because you want to be fucked by a man.”

Oliver’s eyes dropped to the floor and the tops of his ears turned crimson. He lifted his eyes to meet Tommy’s, “I am not ashamed of being in love with you. I am not ashamed to have sex with you and I know you don’t believe me, but I do want you to fuck me.”

Tommy scoffed, “I can’t do this.” He stormed from the room. His bare feet running down the staircase echoed throughout the second floor.

“Tommy,” Oliver called after him.

“Oliver,” Felicity said with despair. If Tommy and Oliver couldn’t find a way to come to terms with their history of shared pain, none of them would be able to move forward together.

“Felicity?” Oliver made a step toward her with his hand outstretched.

She took his hand, “Tommy and I are together. If he can’t forgive you,” she looked him in the eye, “I choose him.”

He nodded, his eyes full of hope, “But, you forgive me?”

“I want to believe that it was the influence of the fear toxin that drove you to leave, but I spoke to Caitlin. It’s been three weeks since she told you that the damage to your amygdala was reversed. Why didn’t you come home to us then?” Felicity wiped the tears from her eyes. When Caitlin had called with the good news, Felicity had waited up all night for Oliver to come home. She thought once he knew he was no longer a danger to them, he’d come back to him. When he hadn’t come home and she realized that the toxin had merely been an excuse, her heart had broken all over again.

“I thought you were better off without me,” Oliver said earnestly.

Felicity had no doubt that he meant it, which filled her with fear. She suddenly understood what Tommy had spent a lifetime feeling. Felicity felt as if she’d slipped from the grasp of gravity and that she was at risk of floating away. Tommy had articulated her own fears, but she didn’t have a lifetime of being disappointed by Oliver. She wanted to throw her arms around Oliver’s neck and tell him that he was forgiven and that they’d figure out a way to repair what had been broken, but she needed to speak with Tommy first. Her heart belonged to both men, but Tommy deserved her loyalty. Not once had Tommy ever broken her trust and she had no intention of breaking his.  She placed her hand over Oliver’s heart, “If you still believe that, how can you ask us to take you back?”

He held his hand over hers, “I’ve figured out that I don’t get to decide for you. Only you and Tommy can decide if you’re better off without me.”

Felicity bit her lip as she tried to hide a smile, “Oliver Queen, was that personal growth?”

“I’m sorry, Felicity,” Oliver took her hands. “I’m sorry that I hurt you.”

Felicity took her hands back and looked away, hurt that he was still focusing on the wrong thing, “It wasn’t your fault. It was the toxin.”

“I don’t mean about choking you,” he corrected her. A small smile tugged his lips when she looked at him with surprise, “I mean, obviously, I’m sorry that I choked you, but I realize that wasn’t me. I was hallucinating. I never would’ve knowingly laid my hands on you. I’m sorry for everything that followed. I’m sorry that I ran instead of asking for help. I’m sorry that I betrayed the trust you had in me by breaking my word when I left. It was the wrong decision.”

“Thank you,” Felicity wiped the tears from her eyes, “I needed to hear that.”

“I know I’m not the easiest person to live with,” he smiled when she snorted. “I know that I make things harder on myself than I need to, which means I make things harder on you. I’ve always been in awe of you and not just because of how smart you are. From the very beginning, you trusted me. You saw something in me that I never saw in myself. Even after I placed all those ridiculous lies at your feet, you still helped me. You trusted me with Walter’s notebook. You kept my secrets. You demanded I do better. You jumped across elevator shafts and out windows and off buildings all because I stretched out my hand.” Tears spilled from his eyes, “You can’t understand what it feels like to have someone put their absolute faith in you. To know that someone is willing to leap with you because you ask.” Tears leaked from his eyes, “To know that I’ve done something that has made you lose faith in me – it’s the worst kind of pain.”

Felicity placed her hand back over his heart, “I do know what it feels like to have someone put their absolute faith in me. I’ve known that feeling from the day I first me you.” She turned her palm up and held it out to him, “I leap because I believe in you. I leap because when I stretch out my hand you always take it.”

“Felicity,” he whispered as he took her hand, “thank you.” He smiled sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck, “I want to come home, for good.”

“It’s not just up to me,” she squeezed his hand. “Tommy needs to agree too.”

“You’ll live with whatever he decides, even if he tells me to get out?” he asked with tears pooling in his eyes.

She nodded. She wouldn’t leave Tommy, not even for Oliver.

He cupped her face and lowered his forehead to hers, “No matter what happens, I love you. I want you and Tommy to be happy.”

Felicity wrapped her hand around his wrist, “Go talk to him. He misses you. He loves you. Convince him that his heart is safe with you.” Felicity laced her fingers through his, “Oliver, if you stretch out your hand, he will leap with you too.”

Oliver kissed her cheek and then her knuckles before he released her hand.

Felicity sank onto the mattress and watched Oliver walk out of the room. She listened as he walked down the stairs and heard the gentle slide of the living room door open and close. Felicity rested her clasped hands against her lips and she waited.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are always welcomed and appreciated. Hearing from you is my favorite part of the day.
> 
> Part 3 will be posted on Wednesday. Part 3 is from Tommy's POV and has more angst than Parts 1 and 2 combined.
> 
> Some readers proposed the idea of Infinite Love, the Trivia Game. Here are a few trivia questions. The answers will be included with Wednesday's installment. There are more questions and answers available on tumblr. http://realityisoverrated-fic.tumblr.com/post/155511235390/infinite-love-the-trivia-game  
> 1\. Where did Oliver, Tommy and Felicity share their first kiss?  
> 2\. How old were Oliver and Tommy when they kissed for the first time?  
> 3\. Who told Felicity he loved her first?  
> 4\. Who did Felicity realize she was in love with first?  
> 5\. Who was the first person told about the Tommy/Oliver/Felicity;s relationship?  
> 6\. What song did Tommy sing to Felicity at Mr. Dennis’ daughter’s wedding?  
> 7\. What is the middle name of all four Smoak children?  
> 8\. What was Malcolm’s wedding present to Felicity?  
> 9\. What did Tommy pay $50 for when he visited Felicity in Gotham?  
> 10\. Where did Tommy, Oliver and Felicity go on their honeymoon?
> 
> You can also come say hi to me on tumblr. http://realityisoverrated-fic.tumblr.com/


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